You know those images of a crazy scientist with hair standing on end in all different directions, eyes bloodshot and a quizzical look on their face as if they’re not quite sure where they are anymore!? That was me. Except instead of working out scientific algorithms I had been trying to juggle housework, 2 part-time jobs, blogging, collaborating, 2 kids under 3, and life admin. I was losing my mind, I felt like I lived in chaos, I was giving myself zero me-time, and nothing was under control. And to top it all off, due to the lack of rest and care I was giving myself, I had slipped a disc and not been resting it, and ended up passing out in the kitchen while cooking and knocking my beautiful daughter off her stool in the process… something had to change.
As I learnt the hard way, that line “you cannot pour from an empty cup” became glaringly obvious.
Enter my fairy Godmother… or guardian Angel; Magdalena from Blue Lights Wellness and their amazing Parent Wellbeing Coaching… As I sat in Magdalena’s cozy office and explained to her just how crazy my life had become, she calmly listened to me list off the million items that were buzzing around my head, bothering me with no sense or structure, and after I had finished, slumping my shoulders in defeat, she said, “Ok, we are going to start with the kids, and work outwards from there.” I had no idea of the power that those few words held, until a week later, when implementing the structure and creating the rewards system that Magdalena had recommended had truly started to work!
I attended one of Magdalena‘s Wellbeing talks back in November and I was so impressed with her knowledge of modern psychological research, gentle parenting concepts and self-care advice that I invited her along to one of our Infant Reflux meetings to give a talk on Motherhood Wellness in order to help Mums who are truly in need of this help to make some essential changes in order to survive that impossibly difficult first year of Motherhood.
I realised after Christmas, when I collapsed that I needed a bit more in-depth work, to help me break these very self-destructive habits. I am the type of person who will try and do it all, so often I hear “I don’t know how you do it,” and I never really understood it, because in my mind I’m always achieving less than I had expected of myself. But this is one of the aspects Magdalena has been helping me to understand, self-awareness is key to our self-love, and rest is a crucial part of life, not a luxury as I had been treating it!
One of the first parts of our journey was the essential need for more structure in my life, so I broke down my week, and my family’s week into regular, planned events, I highlighted where the girls needed more from me, and where I was giving/doing too much. And I penned in, (because pencil wouldn’t have been enough to make me commit to it!) that elusive ‘me-time’. By giving myself permission to have certain times during my week where I wasn’t cooking, cleaning, working, or looking after the girls, I allowed myself time to unwind, and unravel my thoughts, which were making me feel far more crazy than they needed to be, just because I had no time to organise them.
I can’t tell you what a difference these very minimal changes have made already, I am so so much calmer, and knowing that I am going back to Magdalena next week to learn more and take more control over my wellness, is so reassuring. I will continue to share the journey with you here, and I’m planning on doing a separate post on ‘Me-Time’ because believe me, I know how hard it is to gift yourself that time as a young Mum, I think there need to be some clear instructions on the matter!!
Take care of yourselves,